what next

10/04/10

and what do I do with love?
let my heart run amuck?
jump in with eyes closed?
is there even anything to jump in to
and for what?

I’m not to be moved.
but moved by hearts
and minds and sighs
moved to long and pine.

is it enough to love and be loved?

is this ache a profound emptiness
reaching its arms up and out
pull me out of this darkness
is love simply the echo of something i read about in a book?

hazy memories
is love god’s own measure?

i want nothing as much
as solid arms
warm breath, strong heart.
to hear and see joy
at work on the face of a lover
nothing so much as i want all that and still – i’m here
unmoved

and i know me.

capable of such cruelty
able to pull love from stone
Bolster of Hearts
a lifetime of sweet dreams for rent
in exchange for attention and kind words
only to end up with a hatful of loathing
disinterest
bored
it’s been done before.

i know this tune
it’s the measure that throws me
wretched love
my own caution: a swung beat
it starts with a canter
a marcato of courtship spotted with fortissimo
breathless
sotto voce
then i know you
I see the spots
always find new blemishes
the morendo as apathy sets in
the dust settles
and finds us where?
my life surrendered?

do you know how fickle i am?
do you know what it takes to keep me?
more designs than any man has had
as a feather in a windstorm
doomed to an unsettled heart

do i just need the right tune?
is there some piper
to charm me
to soothe the sway
to bring peace and calm?
perhaps something i’ve not yet heard
love so deep
it fills me completely
leaves no room for distraction

i only know how to take
can i be something more?

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