not bitten

i had to catch him – or was it them? – but i was starting to feel nauseaus. the hallways was very tal and almost too narrow. stairs up to the right. the walls were a deep burgundy color. a huge gold chandelier hung threateningly from somewhere above. there were people ahead of me. upsatirs. in the decrepit bedroom. people i knew. they must have his daughter. the man came running right by me. like he didn’t even see me. frantic. sweaty. his tan suit a mess. glasses foggy with sweat. he had a gun but he was in such a panick ie pratically passed it off to me as he ran by. a revolver. ti was so heavy i thought it’d been made of wrought iron. i turned the spinining part where the bullets go (the chamber?) and it was empty. i shook my head in disbelief at his balls and ran right after him up the stairs, in to the bedroom. a hole in the ceiling roof. you could see the sky through the bits of eaves and rafters. the bed was there and someone had really messed up his daughter. i saw a pale white arm flung over the side of the bed, but that’s all i could see of her. giant oak bed. footboard rotted away in a heap. giant bed with velvet dressing. or what used to be velvet dressing. tiem had not been kind to the entire house. the remenants of some kind of fancy silk ochre-colored wallpaper clung to the walls. moldy. every fiber of the house rotted. i knew the girl was dead. the man was in tears. hunched over her, hysterical and clinging to what was left of her body. a small boy came in the room behind me and looke dup at me. he coldn’t see the man. we were down a small set of stairs that lead in to the room. i reached for him to comfort him, maybe pick him up even, and noticed i had blood all over my hands. my fingers almost dripping in it. i pulled my hand away.
“she’s dead, but you’ve got one more to take care of.” my voice sounded wrong.
the man looked up at me fromt he body of his daughter. he rushed over and grabbed the boy in to his arms into a similar embrace. with a menacing growl at the young boy – an actual growl, mind you -, i turned and left the room. sick. in my stomach and disurbed by what they’d done to his daughter. i was relieved they’d left the small boy alone. i wanted to scare the boy. scare him away from ever falling in with a crowd like this, no matter how cool they seemed or how much fun and adventurous it all looked. scare him so deeply he’d need therapy till he was thirty. i wanted him to think i was evil. wanted him to hate me. i tried to shoot rays of ‘hate’ from my eyes and in to his soul.

the house was so rundown. black like it’d been burned 400 years ago. dark shadows in deep black corners. dust and ash everywhere. mounds of it – maybe that was simply rotted something or other. i vomitted. blood. i vomitted blood all over the front of this fantastic dress. a dress like something kiera knightly would have worn in pirates of the carribean. disgusting. i tried to swallow it back up to save making a mess of things. blood. this was almost too much to bear. i think it came out my nose too. i don’t even remember being bitten.
there was a man there, with a woman, my age – no, older, and three younger – maby in their 20s – girls. and me. and jessica. but jessica had gone upstairs to bed. she needed to find a safe place but if dad found out, he’d be mad.
“Jessie! come downstairs.”
“she’s just gone to bed! it’s way too late for you guys to be up!” dad was pissed
“jessie!”
i heard her tromping down the stairs. she knew. maybe better than i did actually. it was like she’d already come to terms with things. resigned herself to it. maybe she was even excited.
“you won’t be safe up there. they’ve got a good spot for us. no one will find us.”

i don’t remember the bite. you know that metalic taste you get just before you throw up? it was almost too much to bear. dizziness too. my head throbbing and i could see the blood vessels in my eyeballs with each heart beat.
“you’ll need to eat soon.” one of the girls said to me. almost mockingly. then the other two girls laughed.
eat? i didn’t want to eat. i was sick to my stomach. who could think of eating at a time like this? eat. eat what? there was a rusty and spent i.v. rig in the corner. she saw me looking at it.
“can’t stay jacked in to one of those for the rest of your life, you know.” again the tone. the “ha ha, you’re fucked for life” tone. i hated those three girls. how’d i get lumped in with them? i was nothing like them.

the morning was coming. it was light, but not like sunrise. just before. kinda grey and misty. like in a romance movie set in scotland where the lovers sneak out for an embrace. the girls sat around a table and laughed together. i was worried for them as dawn came, but then they were the ones that had messed up the man’s daughter so badly. i hated them i think. but i’d only just met them. that night, i think. they talked excitedly, the man lead us to the fireplace. i noted that he looked a great deal like liam niesson. uncanny.
“the fireplace?” i thought to myself. “isn’t that a bit obvious?”
but we moved to the corner to the left. behind the armchair with the ass rotted out. the man actually dove trhough the rotted out ass of the cair. i followed down a tunnel just big enough to crawl through. that crawl that soldiers do. i passed an old nancy drew mystery book. something about a lighthouse. there was an illustration of a butterfly on the cover. some reader must have drawn it. at some point i reached a small laying down space. the man was wedged up against the far left wall and the woman was lying close to him. i tried not to snuggle up against them and wondered if i would turn out to be claustrophobic. i heard the girls upstairs begin to scream in agony as the sunrays hit them. nobody’d tried to save them or warn them. didn’t they know? i knew. and i knew they’d die. i was relieved. there would be more room in here of jessica and me. i panicked briefly in fear that jessica had not made it through the tunnel, but then i heard her shuffling behind me. did she notice the book? should i have grabbed the book? i mean, do you jsut fall right to sleep or is it like normal where having a book helps pass the time and lower your eyelids? it was bright. i was afraid the sun would get us too. but the light was artifical. the small space almost too snug. i felt jessica come through the tunnel and find a spot down by my feet. her feet overlapping mine a bit. such relief. we must’ve been under a couch, the four of us. the walls of the crawl space were lined with a white sheet and there were couch cushions above us. i peeked around the corner a bit and saw a couch back. the man adivsed i get in a position that wouldn’t lend itself to snoring. something landed on the couch seat. i flinched. it walked towards where our heads were and stopped. as i drifted off i remembered a girl tellig me sometimes a stray cat came in and slept with them. a grey one. i should have grabbed that book.

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